Pieces of Me
by Sareki02
Summary: (P&K, T&K, P/T) Missing scenes from Thirty Days that explore Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna's friendship. Written for VAMB Secret Santa 2014.


Summary: (P&K, T&K, P/T) Missing scenes for Thirty Days that explore Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna's friendship. Written for VAMB Secret Santa 2014.

Written to the VAMB Secret Santa 2014 prompt provided by Delwin:

"A Paris and Kim friendship story set in the days leading up to, during or after the events of Thirty Days. Fluff or angst level at the author's discretion - I'd be happy to receive a Captain Proton romp, a post-Monea mop up or anything in between. Paris and Kim friendship only please, though a touch of P/T is always appreciated."

Author's Notes: This is a coda and/or missing scenes piece for Thirty Days. The 'day count' refers to how many days since Tom was sentenced. I was very excited to get this prompt, but may have had a little trouble holding the P/T to only a 'touch.' In any case, there is way more B'Elanna than I think Delwin intended, but hopefully it works for her. Also, many thanks for Photogirl1890 for editing and hand holding.

**Pieces of Me**

By Sareki

=/\=

"_Harry, I really hate facing death like that. I hate the helpless feeling, that there is nothing you can do to prevent it. I was just sitting there in the _Flyer_, just waiting for it: there was too much time to think." _

"_What did you think about?"_

"_A lot of things. Mostly things I hadn't done or hadn't said… or things I had done and said and regretted. Like have I ever told you how grateful I am for your friendship?"_

"_Not in so many words. But I knew."_

"_Good. I think I've told B'Elanna that I love her a million times since I got back. After everything that has happened… I just needed to know that she knew. Hell, the words have probably lost meaning for her now… Harry, if anything ever happens to me, will you make sure she is okay? Be there for her?"_

**Day 10**

"28… 29… 30."

"Oh God," I hear B'Elanna moan as she collapses on the mat, sweat drenching her tank top and shorts.

"Just one more time, B'Elanna," I encourage her.

"I know how many fucking more times I have to do it, Harry!"

I recoil slightly, but say nothing. Even after five years I'm still not used to her surges in temper, although I'd like to think I don't look 'afraid for my life' anymore when she snaps.

I look at B'Elanna and then at the timer, waiting for her thirty second rest period to elapse. She's still weak, but she looks significantly better than she did two weeks ago, when Tom couldn't be pried away from her bedside.

Tom. It should be Tom sitting here, helping B'Elanna with her physical therapy and getting yelled at. Not me.

"Alright B'Elanna, back up," I say when the timer shows thirty seconds.

She huffs as she hoists her legs and torso again, holding the 'V' position as I begin counting.

"God, why is this so hard now?!" B'Elanna growls.

"18… 19… Probably because a cytoplasmic life form devoured your abdominal fat and muscles and, although the Doctor was able to repair the damage, you have to do these exercises to build your strength back up. 29… 30."

B'Elanna collapses back down onto the mat and shoots me a look. "It was a rhetorical question!"

This time I know B'Elanna saw me flinch, because her expression softens. "I'm sorry, I just… I'm just sorry. You really don't have to help me with this. I can do it myself."

I look at her and think about how Tom was doing these exercises with her before… before Monea. "If Tom wasn't in the brig right now, would he be here with you?" I ask, knowing the answer.

At the mention of Tom's name, B'Elanna's face falls slightly. "Yes… and I'd be yelling at him too."

I can see in her eyes how much she misses him. Although I think she thinks admitting that would be a show of weakness. I miss him a lot too. The bridge isn't the same without his smart remarks. Meals aren't the same without his complaining about the food. I never thought about how much time I spend with Tom until I suddenly realized how open my evenings were without him around.

But, at the same time, I'm mad at him for stupidly risking his life for that ocean. What I can't understand is why B'Elanna isn't furious about the whole thing.

I look back at her, lying flat on the mat. I give her a reassuring smile. "Then I'm here for you to yell at until he gets back. Let's see, what's next on the list? Oh, planks, B'Elanna. Your favorite."

"Stupid cytoplasmic life." B'Elanna mutters as she moves onto all fours.

"Alright, up. 1… 2… 3…"

=/\=

"_Replicator ration for your thoughts?"_

"_Wow, a ration? I have lots of thoughts, if they are worth rations now."_

"_What were you thinking about, smart ass?"_

"_Harry."_

"_Harry? We just had sex, I'm still naked, and you're thinking about Harry?"_

"_I was thinking about how sad he looked when we, uh, got rid of him earlier. We never would have done that before. But now that we're dating… I don't know, B'Elanna. It just can't be easy when your two best friends start sleeping together."_

"_I see what you mean."_

"_We definitely need our space from him, to do couple things, but… we're all he's got out here. I want to make sure I still spend time with him… and not get completely lost in my wonderful new girlfriend."_

**Day 23**

"Captain Proton to, uh, Buster Kincaid. I've managed to disable this stupid robot, but now I don't remember what the next part of the plot was."

I can hear Harry sigh through the communication link before he responds. "B'Elanna, next you have to go to the Fortress of Doom-"

I cut him off as soon as his words jog my memory. "That's right, next is the Fortress, and you're there with that guy."

"That guy is Doctor Chaotica," Harry corrects me. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever, I'm on my way. Captain Proton to the rescue." I turn on the rocket pack and start shooting towards the Fortress. I get there quickly, since a long flight would have bored Tom, and enter the throne room where I see Harry trapped behind some kind of force field. Chaotica is there, his back turned to me. I think hard, trying to remember what the hell I'm supposed to say now. I throw in some filler as I think. "Captain Proton, Spacewoman First Class, Protector of Earth, scourge of intergalactic evil, at your service."

Harry smiles, probably happy that I managed to stay in character for more than 15 seconds. And seeing Harry smile makes this whole stupid adventure worthwhile.

Chaotica turns to face me, speaking in his ridiculous grandiose way. "Proton! You're too late! I've already unleashed my hordes against Earth! Nothing can stop me now!"

I remember I have to shoot Chaotica and press the big button to let Harry out… and there was something special about the hordes.

"That's where you're wrong, Chaotica!" I say, trying to sound like Tom. "For I am Captain Proton and I enjoy stamping out intergalactic evil!"

Harry is shaking his head at me as I raise my ray gun, I assume because I'm doing a bad job at acting like Captain Proton, so I stop grandstanding and just shoot Chaotica.

"Computer, freeze program." I hear Harry say.

"What?" I spin around to face him.

He looks a bit disappointed in me. "Only Chaotica can recall the hordes and you just shot him."

That was the thing about the hordes! "Crap, sorry Harry. Umm, do you want to start again from when I came in?"

"No, it's fine B'Elanna. I'm getting tired anyway."

I know that the only thing he is getting tired of is my inability to play this game properly. I probably should have read the chapter outline more closely. At least now I understand why Tom spends a few hours reading this stuff before he plays.

But Tom's not available right now. It's just me, trying to defend the galaxy with Harry.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I'm just not great at this," I say, feeling a bit bad.

To my surprise, Harry smiles at me. "That's okay. I'm not great at filling in for Tom either."

I don't respond right away. I miss Tom a lot more than I expected and it comes at the oddest moments. I'll be in engineering and something funny will happen that I think I need to tell him about. Only then I remember that I can't. I'll see that whatever is for breakfast is terrible and I'll think I should warn him. But it's not necessary. I'm surprised at how thoroughly he has integrated himself into my life while I wasn't paying attention.

And while I miss him, I'm so proud that he stood up for what he believes in.

I'm lost in thought when Harry says, "Well, just one more week."

"One more week," I echo.

=/\=

"_God, I love you so much."_

"_I love you too. I… Tom…"_

"_I know. I can't promise it will all be okay…"_

"… _But this is the right thing to do. I'll be okay, don't worry about me."_

"_I know… Alright, go to your quarters and be slow reporting if there is a red alert."_

"_Tom, I know the plan."_

"_Right. Okay. I'm going to go say goodbye to Harry."_

"_You're going to tell him?"_

"_No… I… I just want to say goodbye."_

**Day 31**

"So, how have your first couple hours out of the 'pen' been?" Harry's voice brings me out of my own little world.

"Oh, not too bad," I respond, although I want to say that these have been my best hours of last month. Moving around. Talking to people. It's been great. However, I have to keep my persona intact, don't I? "I spent the morning in sickbay. I think the Doc enjoyed calling me _Ensign_ a little too much. But, other than that, it was fine."

"Are you back in sickbay for the afternoon or on the bridge?"

"The bridge." As much as I am looking forward to flying again, I'm not looking forward to spending the afternoon with _her_ eyes drilling into the back of my head.

But I don't want to talk about that. Might as well complain about the food to change the topic. "This really is terrible, by the way."

I watch Harry take a bite of his food. "Well, it's not Neelix's best effort, but it's not terrible."

"Maybe that's because you haven't been eating nothing but his cooking for the last month."

Harry shrugs. "Why not replicate something?"

I let out a little laugh. "_The captain_ confiscated all of my rations and I didn't accumulate any while I was in the brig. So, I'm broke."

"Yeah, I'm out too. B'Elanna hustled me at pool last week."

Damn, I love that woman. "She's gotten pretty good, hasn't she? And speak of the devil." I smile when I see her enter the mess hall and head straight for me. She's wearing a grin as well and, once she is in reach, I grab her, pulling her down next to me.

"Hey there," I say before kissing her for the first time in a month. God, she feels good. "You were able to get away for lunch after all?"

"I was. But only for a minute, _the captain_ wants a report from me about the plasma injectors before the end of the shift."

"Ah," I say, keeping my smart remarks about the captain to myself. But I heard the way she said 'the captain.' She hasn't let any of this go yet. I guess neither have I. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I feel how much more substantial it is than a month ago, after the incident with the life sucking bug. "Your stomach muscles seem to be back. You've been keeping up with the physical therapy?"

She looks to Harry, "Yeah, Harry's been keeping me in line."

My eyebrows raise in surprise. "You've been helping her with the PT?"

Harry laughs, "Yeah, well, more like I sit there while she works out and yells at me."

"I kept telling you that you didn't have to help me," B'Elanna replies in an attempt to defend herself.

"Yes, that is one of the things you would yell at me."

B'Elanna laughs in return before taking a bite of my food. "God, this is awful," she says, making a face.

"Thank you!" I exclaim, shooting a pointed look at Harry. "Hey, Harry says that you hustled his rations… think you could replicate me something?" I ask, using my sweetest voice.

"Well, I was planning to use them tonight…" B'Elanna responds, a bit seductively considering Harry is sitting right there.

"Let's save them for tonight then… by the way, you meant tonight at 19:00 and not tomorrow morning at 07:00, right?"

She looks at me like I'm the idiot. "Of course I did. Why?"

"You said 07:00 to me this morning."

"Well, I was talking to you before I had any coffee… or," she says, while under the table her hand wanders up my thigh, "maybe I was thinking about how long I wanted you to stay in my quarters."

I lean in close and say, "I'm very much looking forward to this," before kissing her.

I'm lost in the feeling of her lips and the placement of her hand until I hear Harry clear his throat. "Um, not very discreet, you two."

I moan as she pulls away. "I'll see you tonight," she says, giving a rather sensitive area a surreptitious squeeze.

I grab her hand as she stands. "You're not going to eat?"

"I'm just going to grab a sandwich and eat at my desk. I am _not_ spending an extra moment down there after shift today." She lets go of my hand and says, "I'll see you two later."

I'm watching her walk across the mess hall, thinking all kinds of things about what she has in store for me tonight, when Harry starts speaking again. "She really missed you. I haven't seen her that happy all month."

My attention snaps back at his words. "Yeah, it must have been hard on her," I say sincerely. "And on you too."

"Yeah, I missed you. B'Elanna isn't good at playing Captain Proton."

I'm surprised, "She played Proton with you? What role did she play?" In my mind I'm putting her in the Constance Goodheart outfit.

"Proton."

I laugh, loudly. Harry can never catch a break. "Oh God, sorry but… how was that decided?"

Harry looks a bit embarrassed. "She pointed out that Captain Proton is actually a gender neutral name, whereas Buster Kincaid is male."

"Wow… she has a point. I never gave Captain Proton a first name." I still can't believe that both B'Elanna played Proton and that she got Harry to continue to play Buster on a technicality.

A comfortable silence settles over us. I dig back into my lunch, trying to choke down as much of it as possible. While I'm in mid-chew, Harry suddenly says, "Tom… Why did you do it?"

Harry doesn't need to elaborate what _it_ is.

I take a deep breath. "I… I just couldn't stand by and do nothing. They were going to destroy that ocean and the captain had decided that we weren't going to do anything about it. And I…" I don't really know how to explain this to Harry. "I guess I found a cause."

I see from the way Harry is looking at me, he doesn't understand. "But the captain gave you a direct order."

"I know," I say. "But just because someone gives an order doesn't mean that the order is right. Like when the captain wanted to just let the Mari erase B'Elanna's memory. That wasn't right."

At this point, Harry just looks confused. "Yeah, but you didn't steal a ship and blow something up to rescue her."

I look down, focusing hard on my food. "I would have if Tuvok hadn't figured out what was going on first. Her life, your life… they're more important that the Prime Directive. That ocean was more important than the Prime Directive. More important that the captain's orders or my rank or if she approves of me."

My little speech done, I look up at Harry. He maybe looks less perplexed, I'm not sure. A long moment passes before he speaks again. "You could have been killed. You just said how it must have been hard on me and B'Elanna having you in the brig for thirty days. Imagine if you had died over that ocean. Imagine how hard that would have been on me. On her."

I don't know what to say to him. He doesn't know that B'Elanna knew the whole time. That she encouraged me. That she helped me plan the operation. That she had offered to go. And in that moment I feel myself drift slightly away from Harry. I realize that there is a piece of myself that I can never share with him. A piece he will never fully understand.

"Harry… I'm sorry. But I couldn't stand by and do nothing."

Harry lets out a long sigh and leans back in his chair. "I don't understand you sometimes."

I know, Harry. I decide it's time to lighten the mood. "Well, if you understood me, things wouldn't be as interesting, would they?"

"I guess not. Well, let's get back to the bridge. You don't want to be put on report on your first day back, do you?"

"We can't have that, now can we?" I say as I stand to follow Harry to the bridge.

_Fin_


End file.
